Mr. and Mrs. [Husband’s Name Insert Here]
I know one wife said that she left her husband because she felt like everything was about him and no longer about her. As if she lost her identity, before I became a Christian this statement felt true to me.
From another blog, a woman says she regrets taking her husband’s name just because her mother did it and at first, she tried to lose her maiden name because she hates her father but now that she is using a different name she too felt like she lost her identity.
Acquiring their Husband’s name is an old tradition to some, a tradition they say which we should no longer practice. But this story is not just about women losing their identity, it is also about women who wants to be the authority over their men.
You see this is where most married Christian women are misunderstood. People think that we let our men rule over us because we are weaker/lesser beings. The reason why other people think this way is because we Christian women don’t even know why we hide behind our husband’s name. Most think men have authority them just because it’s always been that way and we can’t even defend our case for submissiveness. So we have a problem in both Identity and Submission.
Let’s deal with Submission first: God commanded that, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Notice God didn’t say “You shall be a regimented wife.” Not only will you have to desire for your husband but you must allow him to rule over you. Desire for him, so long as it is unto God. Pray for him to grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ and in the process you should grow in God’s wisdom as well. Now what if your husband doesn’t deserve it? Remember that God is your higher authority not him. Respect and love your husband as an overflow of your love for God.
Have you ever seen a man with great reputation? Renown preachers, celebrities, noble men or politicians, those who revere and love God or as Proverbs 30:23 calls it “her husband is known in the gates”. When men like these are seen, and are known in public, people ask “Who is that man’s wife?”
God knows women needs a leader and man needs a woman behind him. God did not give as roles to play so we can be lower than men. Wives, submitting to our husbands doesn’t make us lower than them, our submission is for the non-believers to think and ask why we choose to submit? Why do we choose to hide our name? So we can point them to Christ and tell them all about how He, being God made Himself lower than the angels in a form of a bond servant. Submitted Himself to the point of death because of His great love for us, this did not make Him less God.
Identity: It is also a foreshadow of what is to come. “When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” – Colossians 3:4 (ESV) When that times comes for Jesus to reveal the Church who is His wife to the Father, that, is a glorious sight!
When I became a Christian I pursued to use my husband’s last name. Identity is no longer important to me because my Identity is no longer I but Christ who lives in me. Waiting for Him to be revealed before me and when the Messiah who is in me is revealed, then He, will also reveal me in His glory.
A “Name” is so important to some because they have put a lot of effort to build a dynasty around it or perhaps because they have tried so hard to live a life with a “Name” untainted. But we no longer have the old identity, we now bear the “Name above all names – Jesus Christ”.